I Just Can't
by ameisrain
Summary: VincentXOC Vincent broke my heart eight months ago. Now, I've finally gotten back on feet and tonight I'm singing to earn some money. Guess who shows up?


So this is just a one-shot I randomly wrote up. I haven't decided if I'm going to make it into an actual story or not. Maybe I'll leave that up to you guys. :)

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything in this sotry aside from my character Lyanna**

* * *

Tifa looked at me and put her hand on my shoulder.

"Are you sure you can do this?" She asked me worriedly.

"Tifa, I need money and singing is the only thing I can do lately. I'll be okay." I told her as I smiled. _"At least, I hope I'll be okay."_ I thought to myself.

"Alright well, you go on stage in five minutes." She said before walking away. I took a deep breath and centered myself before checking myself in the mirror one last time. My long hair was black on the upper layer and dark, almost black, blue on the under layer. I actually have never dyed my hair; I was born with it like this. My blue-green eyes stared back at me and I smiled at the small brown section in my left eye. I used to hate it but now I loved it. My skin was ghostly pale, one of the joys of being a vampire I suppose. I looked at what I was wearing next and hoped it didn't look bad. I was wearing dark blue jeans with a hole in the knee, a dark blue tank top and a black half jacket over it. My left sleeve on the jacket came to my elbow and my right sleeve was cut off at the shoulder. For makeup, I sketched a design of intricate knots going from my eye down to my cheek.

"You're on." I heard someone whispered so I took a deep breath and walked on stage.

"Good evening everyone." I spoke into the mic once I reached it. There were a few murmurs back and I smiled. "My name is Lyanna and tonight I will be singing some songs for you. The first is My December by Linkin Park followed by If You Only Knew by Shinedown and finally Break by Three Days Grace." I took the mic in my hand and as the music started up, I swayed with the music.

"_This is my December  
This is my time of the year  
This is my December  
This is all so clear  
This is my December  
This is my snow covered home  
This is my December  
This is me alone_

And I  
Just wish that  
I didn't feel  
Like there was  
Something I missed  
And I  
Take back all  
The things that I said  
To make you  
Feel like that  
And I  
Just wish that  
I didn't feel  
Like there was  
Something I missed  
And I  
Take back all the  
Things that I said to you

And I give it all away  
Just to have somewhere  
To go to  
Give it all away  
To have someone  
To come home to

This is my December  
These are my snow-covered trees  
This is me pretending  
This is all I need

And I  
Just wish that  
I didn't feel  
Like there was  
Something I missed  
And I  
Take back all  
The things that I said  
To make you feel like that  
And I  
Just wish that  
I didn't feel  
Like there was  
Something I missed  
And I  
Take back all the things  
I said to you

And I give it all away  
Just to have  
Somewhere to go to  
Give it all away  
To have someone  
To come home to

This is my December  
This is my time of the year  
This is my December  
This is all so clear

And I give it all away  
Just to have somewhere  
To go to  
Give it all away  
To have someone  
To come home to"

If You Only Knew-Shinedown

"_If you only knew  
I'm hanging by a thread  
The web I spin for you  
If you only knew  
I'd sacrifice my beating  
Heart before I lose you  
I still hold onto the letters  
You returned  
I swear I've lived and learned__[Chorus]__  
It's 4:03 and I can't sleep  
Without you next to me I  
Toss and turn like the sea  
If I drown tonight, bring me  
Back to life  
Breathe your breath in me  
The only thing that I still believe  
In is you, if you only knew__[Chorus]__  
It's 4:03 and I can't sleep  
Without you next to me I  
Toss and turn like the sea  
If I drown tonight, bring me  
Back to life  
Breathe your breath in me  
The only thing that I still believe  
In is you, if you only knew__[Chorus]__  
It's 4:03 and I can't sleep  
Without you next to me I  
Toss and turn like the sea  
If I drown tonight, bring me  
Back to life  
Breathe your breath in me  
The only thing that I still believe  
In is you, believe in is you  
I still believe in you  
Oh, if you only knew"_

If you only knew  
How many times I counted  
All the words that wen't wrong  
If you only knew  
How I refuse to let you go,  
Even when you're gone  
I don't regret any days I  
Spent, nights we shared,  
Or letters that I sent

If you only knew  
I still hold onto the letters  
You returned  
You help me live and learn

Break-Three Days Grace

"_Tonight, my head is spinning  
I need something to pick me up  
I've tried but nothing is working  
I won't stop  
I won't say I've had enough  
Tonight, I start the fire  
Tonight, I break away__[Chorus:]__  
Break away from everybody  
Break away from everything  
If you can't stand the way  
This place is  
Take yourself to higher places_

(ohhh, ohhh)

_At night I feel like a vampire  
It's not right  
I just can't give it up  
I'll try to get myself higher  
Let's go  
We're going to light it up  
Tonight we start the fire  
Tonight we break away  
_

_[Chorus:]__  
Break away from everybody  
Break away from everything  
If you can't stand the way  
This place is  
Take yourself to higher places  
_

_If you can't stand the way this place is  
Take (take) yourself (yourself)  
To higher places  
_

_[Chorus:]__  
Break away from everybody  
Break away from everything  
If you can't stand the way  
This place is  
Take yourself to higher places_

(ohh…higher places)  
(ohh…to higher places)  
(ohh…higher places)  
Take yourself to higher places"

"Thank you and goodnight!" I exclaimed as I stepped offstage. The applause that I got made me smile until I got to Tifa and looked around the bar only to see HIM.

"Ly, I didn't know he was going to be here hon." Tifa whispered. I took a deep breath and force a smile.

"It's fine Tifa. I'll be just fine. Do you need any help tonight?" I asked turning to look at her across the bar.

"Unfortunately, no. Cloud is here though so maybe you can go sit with-"

"Hello Lyanna." I heard his voice from behind me and tensed. Taking a deep breath, I turned and looked straight into his crimson eyes.

"Hello Vincent." I said, surprised at the calmness of my voice. Inside, I was very nervous. I hadn't talked to this man in eight months when we broke up. Yes, Vincent and I had been dating. It tore me apart when we broke up. For about five months I didn't talk and for three I rarely ate. I had been a complete wreck. The only thing that kept me going was AVALANCHE. Yuffie had been my main support followed by Tifa. Cloud and Cid looked after me like I was their sister now as well. As Vincent was opening his mouth to speak, Cloud appeared and put an arm around my shoulder. He gave Vincent a flat stare.

"What do you want Vincent?" Cloud asked. His tone was a little cold but in his eyes I could his conflict. He wanted to protect me but at the same time he was Vincent's friend. So I proceeded to step in as usual.

"Cloud it is fine. He is your friend and I do not wish to cause problems between you two." I spoke. I had accidently reverted to using very proper language which immediately let them know that I was holding back emotions and trying to keep myself calm. Cloud opened his mouth to argue but I held my hand up to silence him.

"Vincent wishes to talk to me alone so we will go talk. Do not worry. I will be okay." I told him as I looked at Vincent before grabbing his wrist and leading him upstairs to my room.

"You didn't have to do that Ly-Ly." Vincent murmured as he leaned against my closed door.

"As I said, I do not wish to cause conflict so say what you need to say so we can get back downstairs before Cloud and Tifa start to worry." I looked away from him as I spoke. I was suddenly very nervous but what he said next caught me completely off guard.

"I'm sorry Lyanna." I blinked in shock and looked up at him.

"What?" There goes all my wit.

"I am sorry for what happened eight months ago. I did not wish to have to end things between us." He said as he stepped forward so there was very little space between us.

"Then why did you?" I whispered as I took a step back and looked down.

"I had too. It was the only way to keep you safe." He slipped a finger under my chin and made me look up at him. "There were people after me for what happened with Weiss. I couldn't risk you getting hurt."

I started crying, "We could've handled this together. You could've just told me and I would have helped you." My shoulders were shaking as I cried. I couldn't stop for some reason and I didn't even know why I started.

"I had to keep this from you. It was the only way I could keep you safe. If they thought that I no longer cared for you, then they would have no reason to harm you. I had to make this as realistic as possible. It hurt so much to walk away from you that day in the forest. Please Ly, I want to try this again. I want to fix things between-" I held my hand up, cutting him off.

"So, you can go and leave EVERY time there's a threat? I can't do that Vincent…I can't do this. I just got myself back together, I can't do this now. I won't be broken like that again. I won't let myself get like that. I CAN'T let myself get like that again. I just can't do this. Please don't try to convince me, it won't work." I could feel tears well up and I turned away from him and put my hand on the door knob. "I am sorry Vincent. Goodbye." I walked out of the room and away from him. I had to get out of there. Vincent was already gone anyway. He left through the window as soon as I opened the door.

"_I truly am sorry Vincent. I just can't…"_


End file.
